What to do, what to do.

                I have officially finished reading the entire first lesson. I have about 25 days before my first exam in the class. I will say I am nervous. I do not usually get bad grades, and when I do I sort of fall apart. I thought about getting a mentor to help me, but I can’t bring myself to ask. In my mind I keep hearing tutor and that I’m not good enough if I need a mentor. Here I am extremely excited about learning all of this new information about something I love, but yet when I think about asking for guidance I feel physically ill. I’m not really sure what that means exactly. I have taken extensive notes, to the point where my hand hurts from writing so much down in my notebook.

                I have also found myself in an interesting spot. My best friend was looking into Wicca as well. When I found out, I got super excited and started telling her about research I had done just to find out where to start. Because she has so much on her plate right now, it looks like she won’t be taking any of the classes right now or ever. I have no problem with that, that is her decision and she needs to do what is best for her. However, she wants me to teach/inform her of the information that I have learned. It was very hard for her to understand that I did not want be disrespectful to the religions, but I also was not qualified to do that. I explained to her that there is a hierarchy in many forms of Wicca. She just didn’t quite get it until I explained it to her using the example of me and my older brother when he was practicing his Kung Fu. After that, she understood some. I told her if she wasn’t ready for the class itself, maybe right now was the right time for her to learn Wicca. She needs to figure out what’s best for her.

                I have also found myself wondering if I should take the beginner Tarot class. Its 20 weeks with exams every 14 days. I’m a little worried about the work load since I am still recovery from surgery.  I don’t want to end up overloaded and with bad grades. I am rather confused. I guess I have some things to mull over.