Zoned Out and Writing

What made tonight interesting was the fact that while I was watching TV, I zoned out with word open. As I stared at the TV, with most likely a very strange facial expression, I had apparently written a poem about the Navy coming to tell my mom and I that my little brother had died over seas at war. I don't know where it came from. When I had come back to reality, there it was in word fully written. I did have to do some edits to make it flow better and get rid of double word usage, but as I read it I cried. My chest hurt I cried so much. I'm not really sure what had made me write it or where it come from, but there it was none the less. I will add the poem below. I'm curious if I was tapped into something and that's why I wrote it. Any thoughts on this, would be very much so appreciate it.

I will never forget,

That day,

The day they arrived,

Their dress whites blinding in the sun.

The warm summer air,

Suddenly so very cold,

Leaving it hard to breathe,

 This can’t be happening.

“Mom!”

The voice sounded so strange,

It had been me, but it didn’t sound like me,

It sounded like someone else.

My heart,

Slammed in my chest,

They were closer now,

But still so far away.

“No”,

Mother’s voice breathed,

She was next to me,

When did she get there?

“Misses Jones?”

He was holding something,

“Yes?”

She sounded hoarse.

“I’m very sorry”,

The rest I didn’t hear,

Blood roared through my ears,

No. God no!

My mother was on the ground,

Crumpled like a limp rag doll,

I could see her sobs,

But I couldn’t hear them.

I knew then what had happened,

He was dead,

My little brother,

 He was gone.

I would never,

See his smile again,

Hear his goofy laugh,

Or see his funny dances.

We’ll never have those,

Late night talks,

Those stupid fights,

Or dance like idiots together.

The officer handed her a velvet box,

Inside was a purple heart,

My brother had saved an entire platoon,

He gave his life for them.

The excruciating  pain,

My heart was slowly being crushed,

I was dying,

The pain was unbearable.

I watched as the officers retreated,

Back to the black car,

The other had yelled back,

“He was my best friend”.

He was my best friend too,

My mind responded,

He was my best friend too,

And now he’s never coming back home.

All of a sudden,

It was pitch black outside,

Where had the time gone?

Mom and I died a little that day.

He was like a big brother,

Always there for me,

Now he’s gone,

It should have been me.