Three Days Later and Not Much to Show

I haven't been doing much reading/research/homework. Friday was an interesting experience. I was watching two young girls, who my mom used to watch, for the entire day. What made this situation interesting, was the fact that there girls come from a very Christian family. Every time one of the parents were there, I had to cover my necklace because something in my gut told me to. Then, the girls asked my about my pile of books about Wicca that I had. I unfortunately had to lie to them, telling them that the books were for a college class of mine. I knew they would say something to their parents, so I figured that this would be the safer approach. I feel bad that I had to lie, but I want to learn more about Wicca before I even attempt to really tell anyone about it. My mom knows, but she is open to it and interested in my journey. She is a Third Degree Reiki Practitioner. She practices on me, which is really nice especially since I've been trying to heal from a surgery for at least a year and a  half now.
Today I did do some more reading and notes to finish up my Tarot lesson. I have a test at the end of this week. I'm a little nervous, but I think I'll do alright. The one I'm more concerned with is the Wicca Revealed class. I have been working on my Book of Shadows, the notebook one, and I've been trying to find the proper leather to use to make my book. It's been an interesting process.
I have to say, I'm not very good at the whole recording what is going on. This is supposed to be my Book of Mirrors. I really need to get better at this.

Strange Things You Don't See Coming

                I am aware that I haven’t posted in awhile. It’s been a very strange past couple of days. Let’s go back to Tuesday. If my bird hadn’t driven me crazy to the point where I decided to go outside to read in the beautiful spring air, I probably would have missed this. As I was outside reading, I noticed a squirrel had climbed down onto out metal bird-feeder. It was interesting watching him eat from the bird feeder. He was upside down, shoving his little paws inside the little holes and pulling out seeds. He then proceeded to consume them. What made this whole situation so bizarre and amusing, was what happened when he would get tired. He went down to the bottom of the bird-feeder, which was hanging from a tree, and hung right off the bottom by his bottom paws. He threw his arms up above his head, towards the ground, and just hung there like a limp rag-doll. I sat there was watched this squirrel for quite awhile, laughing at his adorable antics.

                Then later one, after my mom and I had finished dinner, she came out asking me if her sweatpants looked on her. I responded that they looked perfectly fine and asked why. She said because she wanted to make sure when we went to Rita’s Italian Ice, that she didn’t look strange.  I was like; we’re going to Rita’s? She responded yes and I was like, um ok. I figured at the very least I could get out of the house. When we got there, I vaguely noted to myself that there was a female walking down the street, and I was wondering where she was head. Anyways, someone parked so close to us that there was no way I was going to be able to get out of the car even if I didn’t have crutches. My mom, frustrated, waited for someone to leave a spot closer to the building and then proceeded to pull into that one. If we hadn’t done that, I’m not sure if what happened next would have actually happened if we hadn’t. The woman that I had mentally noted earlier stopped us asking where a certain restaurant was, which I had been right where I originally thought it was but she had the address wrong so I assumed I was wrong. She was from Maine and she was down in our area because she was visiting her daughter, who had borrowed her car to take to work. This woman was planning on walking to this restaurant. My mom and I proceeded to help her find out where it was, the young couple who we asked looked at us like we were crazy. However, my mom asked another gentleman who told my mom where it was. The funny thing was, she had asked two older women who told her where it was too. The only thing was she had no idea what they were talking about.  My mom and I tried to tell her it was a crazy walk and we would take her there. After a little persuading that it was fine, we didn’t mind dropping her off at all. We proceeded to take her to the restaurant, which was about a 15-20 minute drive on very large roads. The conversation we had was amazing. We talked about cell reproduction, illness, herbs, and so many other things. It’s was just completely mind-blowing. The very very strange thing that happened though was when she was talking to my mom and I had zoned out some. I turned to look at her and I swear I saw a Native American sitting in the front passenger seat. I blinked, and she was back. The interesting thing was that she did have dark hair, but she was very white. We dropped her off and watched her walk into the building before we left, we always wait to make sure the person get’s in safe. When my mom and I started to talk about the situation, she mentioned that she had glanced over and saw a male Native American sitting next to her at one point.  I was floored, I couldn’t believe we had both seen that. It was amazing! I asked her why she had wanted to go to Rita’s tonight, because she hadn’t asked me to go. She just sort of said we’re going. She said that something popped into her head saying “Go to Rita’s!” She had responded back to it that she was full and that she didn’t need it. The thought proceeded to yell into her head to go to Rita’s, so we went. I still feel the strange high that the situation and created when I think about it. I wish I understood why it happened.

                Some other strange things, the HUGE animal that looked exactly like a squirrel that was on a leash and was being taken for a walk. We also saw three gigantic beavers. They were bigger than my 20 plus pound cat. It was the strangest thing. The boy that come to my house, who I’ve known for years and consider a little brother, had not talked to his mom about turning in his project late. I had asked her on the phone what had been decided to try to make sure it didn’t happen again and she started yelling at me about how furious she was with her 8 year old son for forgetting his project. The thing is, his father woke him up about 30 minutes before the bus was supposed to be there so he was running around like a chicken with his head cut off. Anyways, she asked him today what he got on his project (I had just asked him before she got there, what had happened last night in regards to the project. He had said nothing. Apparently his mom hadn’t mentioned it). When he told her that he got an A, a nine out of ten, she was proud of him but then asked why he got a nine. The thing was, I had told her all of this yesterday.  He told her that he had turned it in late and she asked why. She started babbling trying to explain why. She then sort of shrugged it off with an ok. If I hadn’t been sitting, I would have fallen over. I couldn’t believe it, especially after how she had lit into me the other day.

                I also worked on some of my meditations again and feeling power. I didn’t do very well, which I was a little upset about, but practice makes perfect right? Considering everything that has happened in the past couple of days, I think I’ve done pretty well. I know I probably haven’t been practicing enough, but I have been experiencing Magic just not in the way that I was told to practice. That’s life though, usually things don’t work the way you want them too. It just does it another way. I can’t wait to experience more.

Tarot, Meditation and Books

                Today a few interesting things happened. The first one, which I’m really excited about what I looked in a Book of Shadows. I started my research into getting one, a very nice one. I came across this amazing website called Witches Moon that makes AMAZING leather books. I was going to save up to buy one, which is still a possibility. However, I remembered that my sister can make books. Which is when I decided that the Book of Shadows would be more meaningful if I made it myself, so that is what I’ll be doing with my sisters help of course. Like I said though, there is still a possibility I will buy one depending on how much it comes to when I make it myself. We shall see.

                The other interesting thing that happened today, besides learning more about Tarot for my class, was that I attempted my second meditation. The first one I tried was on Saturday, except it fizzled out of me. I tried very hard to imagine the darkest black possible, but everywhere was green. When I would try to spread the little area that was super black, it would just rubber band backwards on me. That was extremely frustrating. My second attempt today, went much better. It was weird trying to focus on my breathing so much, so I found it hard to even try to meditate the way that was suggested. I did however, manage to do it. It may not have been very good, but I am proud that I was actually able to do a meditation. I used to fall asleep or not be able to focus for more than a minute of two.  I have only had my hands heat up once when I was grounding myself months ago, but with my meditation they did it again. All in all, I think I did pretty well. I will be trying another meditation type tomorrow.

                This gives me something to look forward to everyday. I don’t know if it is hard for me to meditate because of all of my medications that I am on, but I am determined to learn Wicca. I know deep down this is where I’m supposed to be. I just have to work at it, which I was aware of in the first place. I can’t wait to see where this takes me.

A Slow Day, but an Exciting One.

                This post is going to be on the short side. I have officially started the Tarot class; however I haven’t done much reading for it yet. I did however purchase the Waite-Smith deck to learn from, which I have a feeling will be very beneficial for me. I tried to do a reading from it, but trying to learn the information in the little booklet it comes with is like trying to read a foreign language. It’s hard to understand, which I am really hoping the class will help with. Tomorrow I will most likely have a better update, since I will probably do most of the reading for lesson one. I also went to get some more incense today which I’m excited about, and found a pendant with the sun, moon, and pentagram on it. It was almost like it was screaming at me to get it. I kept putting it back, but after coming back to it MULITPLE times, I decided to get it. All and all, it’s been a pretty good day. :D

What to do, what to do.

                I have officially finished reading the entire first lesson. I have about 25 days before my first exam in the class. I will say I am nervous. I do not usually get bad grades, and when I do I sort of fall apart. I thought about getting a mentor to help me, but I can’t bring myself to ask. In my mind I keep hearing tutor and that I’m not good enough if I need a mentor. Here I am extremely excited about learning all of this new information about something I love, but yet when I think about asking for guidance I feel physically ill. I’m not really sure what that means exactly. I have taken extensive notes, to the point where my hand hurts from writing so much down in my notebook.

                I have also found myself in an interesting spot. My best friend was looking into Wicca as well. When I found out, I got super excited and started telling her about research I had done just to find out where to start. Because she has so much on her plate right now, it looks like she won’t be taking any of the classes right now or ever. I have no problem with that, that is her decision and she needs to do what is best for her. However, she wants me to teach/inform her of the information that I have learned. It was very hard for her to understand that I did not want be disrespectful to the religions, but I also was not qualified to do that. I explained to her that there is a hierarchy in many forms of Wicca. She just didn’t quite get it until I explained it to her using the example of me and my older brother when he was practicing his Kung Fu. After that, she understood some. I told her if she wasn’t ready for the class itself, maybe right now was the right time for her to learn Wicca. She needs to figure out what’s best for her.

                I have also found myself wondering if I should take the beginner Tarot class. Its 20 weeks with exams every 14 days. I’m a little worried about the work load since I am still recovery from surgery.  I don’t want to end up overloaded and with bad grades. I am rather confused. I guess I have some things to mull over.

The Journey Begins

I officially started my class at Magichaschool yesterday. I was so swept up in all the information I didn’t actually start this like I originally wanted to. This really started when I was ten years old. I don’t exactly remember how it happened, but I became drawn to Wicca. I don’t mean witchcraft or worshiping the devil. I am talking about enhancing my spiritual connection with earth and nature. Since I was ten years old, it was very hard for me to get any of the materials. My father hated the idea of me wanting to be “A devil worshiper” and subsequently pushed off the thought of practicing Wicca. When I was thirteen, after my father had left, I became drawn to it again. I even bought a book for teenagers that taught witchcraft. Now when looking at that book, I realized that it wasn’t witchcraft that I wanted to learn, it was Wicca. Well, at thirteen it was but on the back burner again because of everything else that was going on in my life at the time. Everything was so complicated and confusing. Again at fifteen I was drawn to it all over again. When I talked to my friends, they laughed and gave me a hard time about it. I pushed it off again. Now, I’ve been drawn back to it. This time the feeling is a lot stronger than it had been in the past.

                Besides the fact that I didn’t even know where to start, I felt weird trying to find a coven when I really didn’t know that much about Wicca. I was very afraid that I would be laughed at. I’m rather confused, but this seems very right. If anyone has any advice, I would appreciate it. I keep being drawn back to Wicca and because it is so much stronger now, I think it is something I need to do.

                I did a lot of online research at first, only to find too much information that was extremely hard sifting through it. Finally, certain author’s started to pop up all over the place. Unfortunitly, because I am couch bound from a surgery, I can’t get my hands on one of them to give you the author’s name. One though, is Scott Cunningham. I really enjoy reading his book; however it’s still quite a lot of information. I really wanted someone to help guide me. Because I’m a college student, I really wished there was a class I could take. That’s when it dawned on me, there probably is. I again, I set out to search the internet. I had to sift through a ton of information again, but certain website schools kept popping up all over the place. That is how I ended up taking a class at Magickaschool. I was very skeptical of these websites at first, especially since some of them ask for outrageous prices. I came across a website that said that if you are being charge for beginner classes, you are being ripped off. A majority of Wiccan’s have no problem helping newcomers learn about the practice for free. Then it gave suggestions for free beginner class schools with fantastic programs and those couple of names showed up again.  It was then that I felt pretty good about signing up; I figured what do I have to lose?

                Yesterday I officially started my first class. I am still reading the history and working on my assignments through today, which is why I didn’t post yesterday like I had planned.  As soon as I started learning the information, I was pulled into. Sucked into this amazing world. That was when I knew for sure I was supposed to be learning Wicca. I have no doubt in my mind that I’m doing the right thing. I am very excited to be starting my journey.