An Update That Should Have Come A Lot Sooner.

                I have to admit and give myself an epic fail for not doing something that I promised myself I would. I had every intention to keep up on posting on here. I wanted to make sure that I was documenting information and what I was doing, that way I could see my progress. Today’s post will be a little long and I apologize for that. It if just mostly to fill in, what I can remember, the days that I haven’t posted about. So, here we go!

                First thing, my wand. I have yet to take update pictures, so I don’t have any better one’s to share like I said I would. I apologize for that. However, I did want to fill you in a little more on the process. I had to go get the branch on crutches. That was an adventure all on its own and the sanding process was quite difficult. I do feel quite proud of what I accomplished though.

                In my last post I mentioned a reading that I did, that I am quite proud of. I am learning about Tarot and my best friend said that I could practice on her. I am using the Rider/Waite cards, so the translations are a little hard to understand. I had to kind of go with my gut. I’m not going to give specifics, because that is not my place to share. That information was between me and my best friend. Anyways, I actually managed to get it spot on. She had a sort of amused look on her face because she could see how unsure I was and I said to her “Was any of that right? I’m trying, but I’m not completely sure what I’m doing.” She smiled and said that I actually got a lot of it spot on. I was very proud of myself. It was a great sense of accomplishment, like I could actually go something. I wasn’t a loser or incompetent.

                Now on to the research I did. One day especially, I went on a huge research binge. I was looking up everything and anything that I could get my hands on about Wicca. However, I did run into some issues trying to figure out what was correct and what wasn’t. I really wish there was a Wicca database on a world wide website. That would be wonderful. Maybe that’s something I need to do one day. Anyways, there were a couple things I was really searching through. The first thing was Handfasting. I have been drawn to this ever since I saw it mentioned on Charmed. However, I’m not sure if the information they used was correct or not. I really love the concept of it though. I also looked into a lot of information about the moon and its phases. That was actually quite interesting. Especially when I found out that a Blue Moon is actually when month has two full moons in it. The second moon is called a Blue Moon. I was very excited to share that with people when they dropped the phrase, “Once in a Blue Moon.”  I also did some looking into Astrology. The thing is, there is sooo much information out there about it that it’s almost impossible to figure out what you should take from it. It’s very possible that figure that out will just come with time and patience.

                I have officially purchased a life-time subscription to Magicka School. I was, sometimes still am, skeptical as to if I should have done that or not. None the less I have and there is nothing I can do about it now expect make the best of it and learn. Since I subscribed, I have downloaded a lot of books and signed up for a third class. The third one is an Herb class. I’m actually very excited about this class. It gives me a place to start when it comes to herbs. Not much more to say about that class because I have barely just started it. I am proud to say that on my second Tarot exam I got 100% and a 94% on my Wicca Exam.  I am debating whether I should also sign up for the Spell Class or just finish some of my other one first. I will have a heavy class load in the fall, so I don’t want to burn myself out or have 6 tests all in one week or back to back. Any suggestions or opinions are always welcome.

                I think that covers a lot of the information I have been bad about updating. I’m sure everything will have more detail as things go along, but I think I’ve posted everything I can think of at this time. Like I said before, any suggestions, opinions or information anyone can provide is extremely helpful and I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you very much for taking the time to read this.

Blessed Be. <3

Quick Post

Tonight is going to be a really short post. I will post more tomorrow. Over the past couple of days I have done quite a lot. I made a wand, did a lot of research, and did a pretty sweet Tarot reading. I will go into it all more tomorrow. As for the wand, I am very proud of it. I found the tree branch (on crutches no less), carved it, sanded it, varnished it and then added crystals. Not only is it my first wand EVER and I think I think I did a fantastic job, but it was also made during a new moon and I have no idea what I was doing or why I all of a sudden decided I wanted to make one today. I will most likely go into more thought tomorrow. I'm sorry for the delay in posts, but what can you do? That's live!
Blessed Be! <3

Something Strange

I am in a strange pickle and I can't tell if this happened for a reason or not. I have been wanting to go into this tea place for awhile, but never have for some reason. However, tonight I decided I needed to go in there. I met a guy named Micheal who is amazingly cute and we have a ton in common. He agree a lot of the stance of Chi and things of that nature. The thing is, he's part oriental (he doesn't look it, more Italian looking if you ask me). The reason that's an issue, is because my best-friend told me a couple years ago that all Orientals were hers. I was never very attracted to them, so I was like year sure. I feel a very strange pull to this guy though. I don't know why I was supposed to meet him and I talked with him for hours. It was amazing. Was I supposed to meet him for my best-friend? For me? Just to learn about tea? I am so confused. I wish someone could help explain this to me, and why does this all of a sudden happen now when I'm just starting to learn about Wicca and herbs? I could use some guidance!

Water, Herbs and Spells. Oh My!

I am aware that I haven’t posted in a few days. It’s been an interesting past few days. I ordered an herb book, which I found out that I’m drinking nowhere near enough water. Apparently, you’re supposed to drink half your weight in water. Example:

100lbs/2= 50 lbs

Then, you switch the pounds to oz. That would mean you have to drink 50oz of water if you weigh 100lbs.

It seems like a lot, but it’s actually not as bad as it seems. The past couple of days, I’ve made a point to drink the correct amount of water a day and it has been becoming increasingly easier. I don’t really notice I’m drinking that much water. I also officially got my first Mortar and Pestle in the mail today. It’s beautiful and I can’t wait to use it. I’m a little wary about mixing herbs yet. I would like to start with some already existing remedies before I start mixing on my own. There’s so much about it that I don’t know yet.

Alright, now for me getting better at this whole meditation thing. I have honestly been practicing more and more. I still have issues, but it seems to be getting a little better each time. I’m rather excited about that.  I have found that a big issue is not falling asleep or keeping my brain on task. Also, I have issues remembering to meditate. I am getting better at it though.

Now, my adventure to making my book of shadows. I’m not sure if my sister is still going to assist me. She’s kind of in a wigged out mode that everything seems to be making her upset. It makes me worry about her, not because she doesn’t seem interested anymore, but because she seems extremely stressed out. As for the information in my book of shadows, that adventure has been filled with issues. I’m really not that worried about order or anything, but I have a few spells that I was allowed to have from Magickaspace. However, I have no idea for what they are used for. I have a problem with certain spells as well because I severely dislike negative magick. I believe deeply in karma, what comes around goes around and of course, the threefold rule. I have been told many times that using magic for personal gain is bad, which I agree with. I was informed by many books and people, that if you ask for something specific it is negative. However, if you ask for a more broad spectrum thing it is not considered negative.

Example:

I want the job promotion that I have been nominated for. – Negative

Why? Because of the consequences. I may not be equipped enough to handle the job, or the other person might have deserved it more. It is also a very selfish request, the world does not revolve around me and I should not expect it to.

I am asking to please have money brought my way for (insert thing). – Positive

Why? This has fewer consequences. I am not asking to take something from someone else. I am asking for whatever means the universe, the Goddess and God feel is proper for me to get those funds. It will be brought to me if I need it and it will be in a way that will do the least amount of damage.

If anyone has any suggestions for spells that are not negative, whether beginner or advanced (just please tell me which is which), I would greatly appreciate it. I feel as if I am floundering a bit in this area. I’m sure it will get better as I go, but help is always appreciated.

Wicca, Books and Herbs. Let's see what happens!

                I have officially started my path to learning about herbalistic (I don’t know if that’s a real word or not) journey. I am going to be trying to avoid medications if I can. I think part of this push to really want to learn this is not only linked to Wicca, but also because of having been on so much medication for almost two years now. My foot issue, which is almost over, has been forcing me to take medications I can’t wait to get off of. I am excited to say that Monday will most likely be the start of getting off the rest of this stuff.

                Anyways, I purchased my first Mortar and Pestle today.  It is a large marble one. It may only be grey, but it is still quite beautiful looking. I also purchased a herbal remedy book to start teaching me how to make the herbal medications. I would rather drink teas and such instead of taking pills. I ordered a second one, but it won’t be here until the end of June at least. Hopefully it won’t take that long, but what can I do. I think this will be a very exciting journey and I can’t wait to fully embark on it. If anyone has suggestions and such, I would greatly appreciate it. I have to say I’ve very excited for the journey ahead of me for both Wicca and becoming an Herbalist. Here goes nothing! :) 

I do plan to learn the how herbs work in Wicca as well, but I figure I have to start somewhere. 

First Exam

                I have to say I was extremely nervous taking my first test for Beginner’s Tarot.  Well, I am glad to say I got a 92%. I wish I had gotten a 100%, but what can I do. One of the questions I got wrong because I liked house instead of home. I was a little peeved about that one, but again what can I do?

Zoned Out and Writing

What made tonight interesting was the fact that while I was watching TV, I zoned out with word open. As I stared at the TV, with most likely a very strange facial expression, I had apparently written a poem about the Navy coming to tell my mom and I that my little brother had died over seas at war. I don't know where it came from. When I had come back to reality, there it was in word fully written. I did have to do some edits to make it flow better and get rid of double word usage, but as I read it I cried. My chest hurt I cried so much. I'm not really sure what had made me write it or where it come from, but there it was none the less. I will add the poem below. I'm curious if I was tapped into something and that's why I wrote it. Any thoughts on this, would be very much so appreciate it.

I will never forget,

That day,

The day they arrived,

Their dress whites blinding in the sun.

The warm summer air,

Suddenly so very cold,

Leaving it hard to breathe,

 This can’t be happening.

“Mom!”

The voice sounded so strange,

It had been me, but it didn’t sound like me,

It sounded like someone else.

My heart,

Slammed in my chest,

They were closer now,

But still so far away.

“No”,

Mother’s voice breathed,

She was next to me,

When did she get there?

“Misses Jones?”

He was holding something,

“Yes?”

She sounded hoarse.

“I’m very sorry”,

The rest I didn’t hear,

Blood roared through my ears,

No. God no!

My mother was on the ground,

Crumpled like a limp rag doll,

I could see her sobs,

But I couldn’t hear them.

I knew then what had happened,

He was dead,

My little brother,

 He was gone.

I would never,

See his smile again,

Hear his goofy laugh,

Or see his funny dances.

We’ll never have those,

Late night talks,

Those stupid fights,

Or dance like idiots together.

The officer handed her a velvet box,

Inside was a purple heart,

My brother had saved an entire platoon,

He gave his life for them.

The excruciating  pain,

My heart was slowly being crushed,

I was dying,

The pain was unbearable.

I watched as the officers retreated,

Back to the black car,

The other had yelled back,

“He was my best friend”.

He was my best friend too,

My mind responded,

He was my best friend too,

And now he’s never coming back home.

All of a sudden,

It was pitch black outside,

Where had the time gone?

Mom and I died a little that day.

He was like a big brother,

Always there for me,

Now he’s gone,

It should have been me.